It’s the End of the World As We Know It and I Feel… Horny?

bstouch054_durexFriends, colleagues, monkeys who have learned to read… the end is nigh. No, not the end of this blog. Although I’m sure there are those among you who would absolutely love to never again see one of these posts, I need the outlet. It’s an essential part of my plan to refrain from going ballistic on some unassuming hobo and I intend to continue publishing this thing until it’s noticed by someone with enough clout to make me famous. But alas, my efforts may have been in vain because, in the coming weeks, the world as we know it is scheduled to meet its maker. At least that’s what the Mayans, that guy downtown who wears a newspaper as a hat, and Daniel James Evans – an advertising creative working at Buzzman Paris – would have you believe.

bstouch054_durex2

The series of ads for Durex (a brand whose marketing is usually quite effective, despite the subpar quality of their products) addresses an issue that’s plagued my thinker since I first heard of the ensuing apocalypse: How many babies are going to be conceived on December 21st, 2012? Well, folks, Daniel and I are here to remind you to wrap your special gift this holiday season because, regardless of what you’ve heard, we’re all probably still going to be here this time next year. I mean, how smart could the Mayans have been? They couldn’t even make it through a drought, for Christ’s sake. And speaking of the bearded baby…

Reverend Jose Funes – director of the Vatican Observatory (ed. note: The Vatican has an observatory?!) – stated earlier this week that, despite claims to the contrary, the world will in fact not be ending on December 21st. I’d very much like to know what sort of “science” Rev. Funes has based these findings upon. Get off your high-horse, Catholics! You don’t know what’s in store for us any more than an ancient civilization that thought human heads made suitable soccer balls.

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