Death, Taxes & Chanel N°5

I like Brad Pitt. I always have. I don’t know what it is about him but, whatever it is, he’s got enough of it to make me watch his movies (except for Tree of Life. That thing was a turd). He’s always struck me as one of those celebrities who just doesn’t really give a shit. I mean, you’ve got to admire a guy who was married to the star of one of television’s most popular sitcoms of the last few decades (not to mention a smokin’ hottie) but still thought to himself, “You know what? I think I’m going to bang Angelina Jolie.” That takes cojones. But sometimes, even the greatest men produce steaming piles of crap.

In the latest TV spot for their iconic N°5 fragrance, Chanel mixes things up a bit, using a male spokesperson for the first time. Perhaps this is their subtle way of acknowledging a shattered glass ceiling. No longer are fancy perfumes only bought for women by their boyfriends, husbands and sugar daddies. Now, they can afford things like Chanel N°5, diamond-encrusted vibrators, or whatever else women are into. So, we’d damn well better make ads that appeal to them. Right? Enter: Mr. Pitt.

The commercial (entitled There You Are) features more advertising clichés than I can shake a puppy at, and it seems to be the latest contender in an ongoing game I like call “Guess What They’re Marketing in 30 Seconds or Less.” There’s no indication of branding up until the very end and the copy is so vague and dull, I’m pretty sure I actually dozed off at one point. There are only two inevitabilities in life – and I hate to break it to you, Chanel – but perfume ain’t one ‘em.

I commend the brand for finally deciding to market to women rather than at them (if that is, in fact, what they’re trying to do) but to infer that the fairer sex would fall for this type of garbage speaks volumes.

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