Restorative Artist Shakes My Confidence

I’ve been updating this blog nearly every week for just about a year. It began as an ongoing assignment for one of my college courses, but I’ve kept at it for a number of reasons: it gives me an opportunity to stay up-to-date with trending topics in the advertising industry and also allows me to stretch my legs as a writer. I’ve never taken any formal writing classes. It’s just something I’ve been working on since high school (more or less in my spare time) and I feel as though I’ve developed a particular voice that seems to bode well with my readers. I don’t really know where it comes from. I read a lot and I write as much as I can, whether it’s in the form of an essay, short fiction or even a journal that will likely never see the light of day. I consider writing to be an art and, as with any form of art, it takes practice. So, my question is this: How the Hell did Cecilia Gimenez make it all the way into her 80s without realizing that?

The elderly Spanish woman has gained notoriety after attempting to restore Elias Garcia Martinez’ Ecce Homo, a fresco only a few decades older than Gimenez, herself. If this monstrosity, dubbed “Beast Jesus” by The Huffington Post (ed.note: I REALLY hope that catches on), isn’t proof enough that we should revert to setting people adrift into the ocean when they reach 65, I don’t know what is. The work has been compared to everything from “a crayon sketch of a very hairy monkey in an ill-fitting tunic” to Rowlf from The Muppets and Gimenez (who has reportedly been bed-ridden with anxiety since claiming responsibility for this biblical fuck up) is said to be meeting with professional restorative artists sometime next week to determine whether or not it can be fixed. But not everyone views these changes as negative.

According the Association of Fundraising Professionals, an online petition has been signed by more than 12,000 supporters of Gimenez, stating that her creative destruction is art in its own right and claiming the restoration “reveals a subtle criticism of the Church’s creationist theories while questioning a resurgence of new idols.” These Duchampien sons of bitches even went so far as to compare the work to that of Picasso and, as The Guardian’s Jonathan Jones points out, Ecce Homo was never a “masterpiece” to begin with. When I read that, I couldn’t help but think of my newest tattoo. I’ve got a few of them – none of which I would consider masterpieces – but when I had to get the last one touched up, I was hard pressed to find an artist other than the original who was willing to work on it. This is a five-month old, 2×2” tattoo, mind you. It’s never seen by anyone other than myself and whichever girl happens to be lucky enough to get me topless. Am I really supposed to believe there is more integrity amongst tattoo artists than there is in the restorative community? For Rowlf’s sake…

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One thought on “Restorative Artist Shakes My Confidence

  1. doroiams says:

    Ben, you are an amazingly good writer. please keep at it. I thought this was an interesting story. Hey. Our local st Charles borromeo Seminary has Thomas Eakins’ paintings defaced by dumbass restoration…Oh well…there’s always more …

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